My Apocolypse
by hmsxl
Summary: Switch's thoughts on love..


**AUTHOR: **Solace

**RATING: **PG-13 (For swearing...oooh how bad, eh? And some sex stuffs, too. =D)

**GENRE: **Angst, some romance. . . .

**SUMMARY: **Basically this is Switch's most inner thoughts on the Big One: **L O V E**

**PAIRING: **Switch / Apoc

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **This came to me when I got off the phone after finding out my ex killed herself by drug overdose. I was sitting in my room at my keyboard and this was what came out. It's prolly abit OOC, but I like it and to me, that's all that matters. Also.. if anyone has a better title idea? Do let me know...

**DISCLAIMERS: **The Matrix™ et al are credited to the Wachowski Brothers and WB™. . . I merely use them to get my thoughts out to the world. I'm just a fic-whore, writing them about all my movie/tv show/ music interests. The lyrics in here are from the song "Kryptonite" -3 Doors Down

**FEEDBACK/DISTRIBUTION: **So far, only is where this story is. I don't see why you would want it, so if yer linking it from yer site to here (or vice-versa), do e-mail me and let me know where it is being linked to.

**MY APOCOLYPSE**

_I took a walk around the world_

_To ease my troubled mind_

_I left my body laying somewhere_

_In the sense of time_

_I feel there's nothing I can do_

**The ship is silent. Too silent. Usually, there is sounds that can be heard throughout the ship twenty-four seven. Dozer would walk around the ship, always finding something that needed fixing, and when he would walk, well, let's just say, I now know where is name, _Dozer_, came from.**

**Lately, Trinity had been taking the late shift, spending most of her precious sleeping hours watching the green code rain down the many screens at the console. She was watching the newbie.**

**That's the only possible explanation I can come up with for why she would relieve Cypher of his shifts lately.**

**Cypher, well, he would eihter stand around, in the corner or hover in a doorway just watching everything. He didn't do much except wank a good load in his bunk's lavatory -most likely over some perverted thought containing Trinity- and rant. He had a complaint for everything and everyone.**

**Mouse usually either did his studies -Morpheus was a stickler for all of us to keep going with our schooling after we'd all been freed- (Morpheus stopped the studies once you turned nineteen) or worked on his latest training program.**

**Tank just was Tank: cheerful, gossipy, yet really into his job as Operator of the Nebachadnezzar, which was welcome, because everyone else was intolerable most times.**

**Except Apoc.**

**My private Apocolypse, I called him. He was my demise.**

**I used to be like Trinity, you see. I was the Queen Bitch From Hell. Then I met Apoc, and one night, after I nearly lost my life on a jack-in, jack-out mission in the Matrix, me and him just did it. Right there on his cold, steel, bunk floor. I had adrenaline coursing through me and I was suddenly horny.**

**Fuck me sideways if I know why nearly being iced -haha, no pun intended- got me horny, but it did. And as soon as Tank had unplugged me, I headed straight for the living quarters and pounded on Apoc's door, then barged in. Hell, he coulda been naked and wanking off, but I didn't care.**

**He wasn't. Jacking off I mean. He was sitting there reading some book on evolution and involution. Damn philosopher he is.**

**But we did it, right after I tore the book outta his hands and straddled him, kissing him hard.**

**Back to the point though, it was that that made me not so independant. Suddenly, I couldn't go anywhere without him by my side. We ate our single-cell protein rations side-by-side, we did our missions in the Matrix side-by-side, and hell, we even sparred together.**

**It was Love that made me weak.**

_Will you still call me Superman_

_If I'm alive and well will you be there_

_Holding my hand_

_I'll keep you by my side_

_With my super-human mind_

_Krpytonite_

**I used to wonder: _Is there something out there that could kill me? A kind of kryptonite??_**

**Now I know the answer.**

**Yes.**

**Yes there is.**

**That kryptonite is called Love.**

**"Switch?" Apoc's voice is husky and low, but I can still hear it. He turns the latch on my bunk door and enters, knowing he is allowed in. He locks the door after he is inside and even though there is no light -Tank had shut them all off for the night a couple minutes earlier- he expertly finds his way to my bed and sits on it, pulling me into his lap.**

**I had been sitting in the middle of my cot, my knees pulled up to my chin, my arms wrapped around them. I was cold. So damn cold. Always cold.**

_**Matches my cold, Icy complexion....**_

**I find myself relishing the warmth radiating off of him. He makes me feel alive.**

**Living on this ship for just over nine years makes you sub-human. The worst of us is Trinity. She is a hybrid of a human. She is so far gone emotionally, like Morpheus. . . . She had been my closest confidant, now what friendship we had had crumbled. Trinity was Morpheus' protégé, and she revelled in that factor so Apoc, Cypher, Tank and I all forced ourselves to get used to the loss of our girl.**

**That's what I spent the night thinking about, was how non-human we all were. And how I'd become so damn weak because of the 'sordid affair' that was the relationship Apoc and I shared.**

**How our supposed freedom consisted of zipping though age-old sewer systems in a dank and dirty little hovercraft. How we ate the same shit everyday. How we all saw the same seven people everyday. And it was cold here. It always was cold here. . . . What the hell kinda freedom is that?**

**I hated it, yes, hell, seeing the same seven people everyday wasn't even normal!! But I didn't do much about it. I thought about it, and that was it.**

**I didn't know, that in a couple of months, Cypher would have those same thoughts and kill off Apoc, Dozer, Tank, Mouse and I.**

**I spent the night in his arms. We sat in the same position, not sleeping at all 'til Tank switched on the lights and it was time for our snot-glue of a breakfast. We were the first ones to sit down, followed by Tank, then Dozer, then Morpheus, and then Mouse.**

**Apoc still calls me Superman, even though he was my demeanor's demise.**

**And I will still continue to love him, until our deaths.**

**My _Apoc-_olypse.**

[[end]]


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